We live, we learn, we grow.
At the end of each year, I take some time to reflect on the lessons I’ve learned through the year. I find it helps me set goals for the coming year and it also makes me feel good knowing I can quantify the growth. I want to share 8 lessons with you guys and to thank you for choosing to come on this journey with me.
1. Start with what you have
Writer, Ijeoma Umebinyuo wrote,
“Start now. Start where you are. Start with fear. Start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling but start. Start and don’t stop. Start where you are, with what you have. Just… start.”
This resonated with me and it became my mantra. I didn’t put it into action until a few months ago when I pitched an idea for an article for the first time and it got published. I sent the email and in my head I was saying, hey there I’m not really sure how to do this but here goes. I wasn’t expecting to even get a response let alone a publication.
2017 taught me that I am good enough and I am capable of creating great work with the resources I already have I just need to start.
2. Put your ego aside
Someone once told me that pride will be my biggest downfall and I laughed. Kendrick said, “loves gonna get you killed but pride’s gonna be the death of you” I laughed but this time I agree because it’s true. I’ve allowed my pride become bigger than I am to my detriment. There are so many projects that I could have completed had I asked for help.
3. There will be days like this
Growth is not linear it is multidimensional. It’s not only up from here, sometimes down and other days it’s stagnant. Life isn’t easy but nobody promised me that it would be.
4. There’s always a moment for truth.
Sometimes it’s just better to just let things out in the open. Whether or not someone can handle the truth is not my decision to make. I need let them make that decision for themselves.
5. Sorry sometimes isn’t good enough and things may never be the same again.
It’s tough but that’s life. You apologise, do your best to make amends and then you work to forgive yourself.
6. Accept things as they are and not as you would like them to be
I’m an idealist and I want to create a perfect world for myself.
I’ve always known that there are things out there that I can’t control. But, I’ve struggled to accepted that there are also things in my life that I don’t have any control over.
For example, emotions, I’ve always understood that emotional displays can be controlled and I am good at impulse control. What I struggle with is allowing myself to feel things I’m uncomfortable with in the first place.
I’ve learnt that I don’t hate being sad because I’m sad but more because I am allowing something outside of myself to affect me. I’ve realised that this need for control is ridiculous, that I am human and that I need to work through those feelings instead of suppressing them.
7. Don’t be afraid to fall
I procrastinate not because I don’t believe in myself but more because I’m afraid to work towards something that might not work. This is the first time in my life where the goal post isn’t clear and I now know that having a vision helps me keep the fear at bay.
8. Self- love is a journey.
I have always loved myself. I have always recognised my value and I have rarely allowed anyone to make me feel less than I am. Understanding how I can simultaneously love myself and also have days where I look in the mirror and feel like crying because I feel ugly destabilised my understanding of self-love. I thought self-love meant that I shouldn’t feel this way and when I was over it, I felt guilty.
I’ve learnt that ugly days don’t mean I don’t love myself. They simply mean I love myself but I also have insecurities. There will be days when I feel like I’m the baddest and my glow is so fierce I feel like I’m Beyoncé and there will also be days when I feel like a frog. None of this means I don’t love myself.
Reflection is important and it keeps us moving forward but only if we implement what we’ve learnt in the future.